Edited by Nailah Marron
I am a lucky girl. I got my first diamond ring as a gift from the boy I was seeing when I was 18. Although I wouldn’t say that he was my boyfriend. Yes, we were seeing each other for several months. I went to visit his family and lived with with them for a week. I met all of his family members. Still, I wouldn’t call him boyfriend. Although he probably thought he’d marry me one day. He also took a trip to visit my mother. No girl with my kind of mentality would keep a man like him. Shortly after, he met someone who really cherished him, and left me.
Not long time ago, I received my second diamond ring as a gift. But I’m not engaged. I’m still single. I have been single for 4 years, and I’m still very lucky. Me being single has nothing to do with New York, the city. I’m the only reason that I’m single, for good, and for bad. Most of the time, I chose to be single because I didn’t meet the man I truly like. When I did, I screwed up. For the past 28 years, I probably met two or three right men. How lucky I am! But I ended up loosing all of them. If I was ever asked whose fault it was, It was my fault – being childish, dramatic, emotional, short- tempered and demanding etc.
During college, I met the only guy I’d call my first boyfriend. For me, he is perfect. He is such a gentleman, proper, caring, humble, amiable, smart and ambitious. Although I was so difficult to be with, he loved me for who I was. Considering how young we were back then, he was more mature than his age to handle me. And I was too immature than my age to be with him. At that moment, I suffered a lot from my breakup. Because I thought he was the one who was wrong and not liking me enough. Although the reality was he was perfect, and I was the bitch. I was living in my own world and delusional. He was the guy that every girl could be happily dating, and I was the girl who made everyone suffer.
That relationship last for two years and two months with us being on and off. And we recognized each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. And now he’s happily married to someone else.
The second man I truly loved and would love to marry is 10 years my senior. Again, I was the lucky girl, who met a perfect gentleman. He’s just as perfect as my first boyfriend; culturally curious, very humble although highly established, interested in me for who I am. However, the same cycle repeated. I screwed up. I was intimidated by him, because of how much I liked him. I can’t be myself and be present when I was with him. I got anxious and overanalyzed things all the time…I was in a lot of emotional pain because I thought he wasn’t into me. Although he probably was. Not surprisingly, I made him stop liking me as a potential life partner, as well as a person.
I’m 28 years now. And I have met amazing men who accompanied me and helped me grow up, who took the worst parts of myself by dealing with so much pain and drama that they didn’t have to. My companion and my best friend had to go through 10 thousand crazy emails and texts, had to see me lie down on the floor and kick the door in midnight … I probably could be one of the worst girls when it comes to relationships that I have known of. And I lost my best friends (in a romantic way) and my Mr. Rights.
Not too long ago, I received my second diamond ring. It didn’t come from a boyfriend or an admirer, but from Fascinating Diamonds. This Leaf Spiral Diamond Ring is from their Nature Inspired Rings collection. It signifies recognition of me being an influencer and also an achievement of my online media. This partnership straight from Diamond District New York makes me realize that humbleness, professionalism, cooperation will land you the desired partnership. Moreover, this ring means self development and self growth to me. And I am aware of who I am in relationship, and I am the reason that I lost all of my Mr. Rights. I wanted to sincerely say sorry to all of them; ex-boyfriends, serious love interests, best friends and as well as companions, who truly loved me as who I am, for all of the drama I have brought into their lives, and all the emotional pain and unnecessary troubles I have caused (although they couldn’t care less now. They are all happily in a satisfying relationships). I can’t really say I have changed a lot or even grown up a lot in romance and partnership. But I’d love to grow and develop, and cherish and respect all the meaningful encounters I have had and I will have in the future.
Partnered with Fascinating Diamonds